Listen very carefully...i shall say this only once.
I have eight housekeeping jobs, varying from doing 'a bit' for some lovely elderly people, through to keeping on top of a couple of gorgeous holiday homes in the Cotswolds.
But i only do these jobs in the mornings.
In the afternoon, i do something very different.
Do you recognise the car above?
The good old Ford Capri- the must-have car of the mid seventies to mid eighties.
Beloved of the 'The Professionals', 'Minder' and often seen careering through cardboard box mountains on 'The Sweeney'.
Well....in the afternoons, i make my way to a converted stable, five minutes drive from my house, and play with these cars.
I help strip parts from them and then send them off to the four corners of the globe.
I loooove this job.
No two days are ever the same, i can make as much noise as i like, and the recession is non existant for this particular trade.
So, some facts about my job.
Like i say, i work in a converted stable- the only thing thing that has made it a room, is the fact it has a radiator. I can't tell you how basic it is. On the minus side, in the winter, i might as well be outdoors. On the plus side, in the summer, i have views across the Cotswolds, and have buzzards flying above me, and chickens stroll in and keep me company.
Just don't tell Health and Safety.
Remember the photo from Burns Night of my friend who was dressed like Captain Sensible?
He's my boss.
And i love him. He's the best bloke ever.
He plays practical jokes all the time, including such gems as making animal noises on the second phone line when i'm on the phone to customers, firing his air controlled whirring gun at us with discs inside saying such things as 'make me a cuppa' and 'no holiday for you this year' ( i kid you not.)
He will listen to me rambling on about The Writer when i'm pissed off with him, he tells me that i will always have a job at his place even if it's just sweeping floors (he says he's heard i'm really good at that- it doesn't help that i clean his house for him too...) and he will always come and fetch me or take me home in his huge van if the stable gets flooded. Which it has done on several occasions.
There are over thirty Ford Capris on site ( i bet you thought they were all dead) in various staes of health, including the 'Minder' Capri. My boss owns that one, and says he will never sell it.
Most of them are stored in his wifes menage.
She had horses once, but the minute she took them out to the fields, the cars took over.
The place i work has been on telly- a show on Discovery real time, called 'Wreck Rescue'- and many of the cars have been loaned out to tv companies for period shows. Bet you missed that one in the background on 'Larkrise to Candleford' didn't you...?
You know what i mean.
Some of the car parts are disgusting- covered in oil, rust and crap.
I take great delight in wrapping any parts like that in fresh copies of the 'Daily Mail.'
Now that IS a good feeling.
I get to wear steel toe capped boots and swear like a trooper.
Although it's a very male dominated environment, me and the girl in the office use language that makes the boys blush.
And there are only five of us that work there...small is beautiful.
The company has been running for 25 years, and this year is the 40th annivesary of the Capris' launch.
And by the way business is going, it'll be going for another 25 years.
Finally, my dad would have been really proud of me doing this job. He always had Fords, and i'm sure he's up there somewhere watching me with a spanner in my hand, and saying 'good on yer Sprouty.'
So, in a (not so small) nutshell, you have the details of my 'other' job. I won't mention it again.
And believe it or not....it really does keep me sane.
Till next time,
Shakespeare's Housekeeper xx
